How is that fight going with the flower bed versus the dandelions? We cultivate, water and fertilize the begonias which wilt and die. We poison, cut down or exterminate the dandelions and they thrive. Are we on the right side of this battle? Choosing the winning side counts for something. Now what about that climate change debate.

If the planet keeps warming, the Greenland and Polar glaciers will melt. That will leave most of us underwater. Climatologists say that’s a catastrophic big deal, and yet, temperatures keep rising. Sea levels go up, hurricanes sweep your beach cottage out to sea and West Coast guys are worry about droughts and the ranch going up in forest fires. High temperatures in Africa mean crop failures and populations packing up and moving North to Italy. Super bad news here. And the solutions are difficult. Voices cry out- “Not even one more degree of global warming anywhere.”

But that’s a tad selfish and geo centric isn’t it?

Come on guys! Look at it through the eyes of the poor Greenlanders? Their great land is buried under ice. That three mile high glacier covering 800,000 square miles of their island in white is good for snow shoeing, sledding or make snow angels and still leaves plenty of cubes for your ice tea. But in reality glaciers aren’t much fun. Melt the damn ice and let the people get to see their Greenland as a green land.

I’m talking 56,000 people who deserve better. They want the same warm, green fields, and golden prairies like much of the world. So the hell with your flooded beach house. Consider these people. Their diet consists mostly of fish and musk ox. Might they want to spice up their diets by cultivating fruits, lettuce and vegetables? An apple orchard here or corn field there? A few degrees of global warming would mean so much to them. It could liberate their entire land from that mountain of ice.

Yes a warmer planet means the seas rise, three floors of your condominium will be underwater and your ranch may be toast, but does that mean you’re on the right side of this global warming debate? You can’t only think about yourself. A planetary temperature rise will bring much needed relief for poor Greenlanders.

A UN report suggested that the people of Denmark, (who own and govern Greenland), are the happiest people in the world. That’s great for them. Another report suggests Greenlanders themselves have among the highest suicide rates anywhere. Something is wrong with this picture. Why are so many of these good people giving up? If you lived in Greenland and had 3 miles of ice sitting on top of your home, endured months of frostbite and ate cod three meals a day, how happy would you feel? They deserve better?

Today, after millennia of frost bite, Greenlanders are finally getting some melting. If the glaciers melt away, residents could gain access to their own land. Take away miles of glaciers and they might find minerals, petroleum, farm land. There would be land for fields for golf courses, drive-ins and amusement parks. But this will never happen if those mean guys at the Friends of the Earth get their way. The Friends wish to prevent even one more degree of planetary warmth. They even want to turn the thermometer back down. That would deny tens of thousands of sad Greenlanders any hope of a PGA Tournament.

In 2004 the well meaning United Nations tried to cheer up the island by designating Greenland’s Ilulissat Icefjord a UNESCO World Heritage Site. Tourists flock there to i-photo the calving glaciers as thought it’s some kind of a treasure. Greenlanders don’t treasure icebergs any more than the people in the Sahara Desert treasure sand, any more than people in the Pacific Ocean treasure sea water. If you turn the global temperature back down you’ll make Friends of the Earth happy but you may get more glaciers. Is that what we are fighting for? Is that what the Greenlanders want? Any more glaciers and they will be bumped off the island into the sea.

Global warming will likely continue and you will likely oppose it. But next hurricane, heat wave, or crop failure, think of those folks in Nuuk or Ilulisat, Greenland. They are dreaming of Florida style oranges groves as they huddle around the space heater eating another dinner of seal and halibut.

Then again, you might reconsider you opposition to warming and join them. Sell your cape house now while it’s still dry and invest your funds in Greenland real estate. Get in before the golf course crowd arrives.


Categories: Humor

2 replies

  1. Yup, my beloved Northern California is going up in flames, but we dare not do anything that just might help preserve environmental integrity. Although California is trying, the national effort is rather dismal at the moment.

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