I binge watch James Bond reruns and aspire to the persona of a thrill seeking man of action. I often dream dreams of masculine grandiosity. You can find me fanaticizing tales of clandestine romance with Kim Il Un’s beautiful daughter.

How’s the grandiosity thing going?

Very poorly- thank you for reminding me.

Retirement life in a peaceful college town is mind-numbing! We haven’t seen any disturbance since the 1960 student protests. Local excitement since been all downhill. Yes, there is the risk of slip and fall or snow falling off the roof or traffic tickets; but Bond doesn’t do trivia like that.

So why am I obsessing about a little Tik Tok humor skit about gang violence?

The ugly guy starts his 15-second drama skit saying

 “How can you protect your life while walking the city’s mean streets? I do it by adopting a Russian accent. Punks accost me in a dark ally and challenge me as to what I’m doing in their neighborhood, I say in my most assertive Russian accent-

                ‘And vat meeeks you teeenk dis is soo tough neighborhood…. cupcake?’ “

I just laugh and laugh. Bond couldn’t have done it better. It triggers some psychological humor hiccup in my brain’s network.

How can 15 seconds of a young kids app be so compelling to a senior like me? Maybe I need intervention, maybe I need James Bond but something is out of kilter. My life is never in any danger; but I do have bouts of vivid imagination.

 So I keep practicing my Russian accent.

  Maybe you have problem weeth daat ………CUPCAKE?”