SOLVE THE PROBLEM OR DIE OR BOTH

 

 We in the grumpy, advanced-age community grumble and appear cantankerous because we face physical, mental, and social tribulations. But that’s only half the story? 

Surprise! There’s also geek good news. What about our perspective, wisdom, dare I say the glow that comes with age, experience, and understanding? What about the acceptance that life since the beginning has always been more existential problems than solutions: But we live with it Surely by now, we must recognize our “Geek Community” was once the army of problem-solving Energizer Bunnies during crises of the past. We made shit happen and “kept the plumbing humming.”

Isn’t it always so? Every life and every generation saw existential threat after existential threat with no apparent solutions.  In my short lifetime, we faced Hitler and then Stalin taking over the world, nuclear holocaust, the Red Menace, strontium 90, acid rain, and the aerosol ozone hole. Before that, saber-tooth tigers were roaming outside our cave door. If wild beasts didn’t get you, then pestilence and pandemics would”

Turn on the TV today, and people are fearful about the existential threat of Global Warming. 

“We’ll all be toast in a generation or two:”

” It’s the end of the world! If you can’t see that Baby, you are just not looking!”

The headlines may or may not come true but what an insult to the ingenuity of the human race to think this is THE BIG ONE. As a representative of generations past I’m insulted. How dismissive of all the existential problems we did solve.

Yes, the planet is warming. What a loss it will be if everything turns to ashes!  All that civilization, architecture, culture, history, and blog posts burn up into cinders? 

 Today, Global Warming should Keep us up at night.  But history shows existential threat comes like waves pounding the sandy beach. Even after a life of pounding problems, we die anyway, but the human parade keeps marching on. 

Hunter-gatherers, if lucky made it to 30 before starving to death. Today if you are popping Fentanyl pills, you still may make it to 30 before you OD. The rest of us are seeing progress; We woof down Twinkies, beer, and Fruit Loops, and we will make it to 70 and then die of obesity. 

 My point is that we underestimate ourselves when we think that Global Warming is the final step in our march into oblivion. Isn’t it possible we’ve learned a thing or two and will learn how to muddle our way out of this threat too? 

For example, if you are a take-charge type and sweating out the warming planet, move to Fairbanks Alaska. Better yet, if you wish to beat the heat and get away from mosquitoes, there is Eismitte, deep in the heart of Greenland. Head up that way and all your sweat will vanish. it’ll take a boatload of greenhouse gas to warm up your goosebumps: The recent low temp was –93 degrees.

Don’t get me wrong: increasing greenhouse gas is a serious threat. However, a millennium of history has taught we are capable of diagnosing impossible problems and summoning up resources so that new Energizer Bunnies can do their thing.

Categories: Humor

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