EVEN IF NEW ENGLANDERS TALK DON’T LISTEN

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Photo by John Belmont, Merriam, Kansas 

New Englanders up here in the Cold Corner of the country are said to be porcupiney, strong silent types. We can’t help it, we’re brought up to believe that it is hard to improve on silence,- never use two words when one will do. It’s a good thing we’re not chatty-talky people because nobody wants’ to hear what a cranky northeastern chauvinists have to say.

It might come out like:

” If global warming continues Boston will become warmer and more congenial. Then all the crusty butts, riff raft and deplorables will come in.”

“Nothing but that Arctic Blast separates us from surfer dudes in Aloha shorts and flip flops. Down in Miami and LA they talk about ‘toned, tan and beautiful’. We’ll get tank tops, tattooed torsos and sunburned flesh.”

“What has Southern California ever given us anyway besides fruits and nuts? Tongue studs? Dogs with their own personal trainers, therapists and cosmetic surgeons ?”

“Hot weather brings nothing but bugs, sweat and lethargic minds. Ice and snow bring excitement! You’re never going to get ‘wicked smart’ sipping a bottomless mimosa in your hot tub.”

No, New Englanders, keep your mouths shut. We cannot improve on silence.

Categories: Humor

2 replies

  1. Aaaaaa-yup. Pretty much applies to Michigan’s Upper Peninsula Residents (Yoopers) as well. Too busy shoveling snow and/or ice fishing for lengthy conversations.

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