Symphony Hall

Granny and the blue hairs want their symphony

 When it comes to Symphony and the Swifties, we could be talking social disruption here. Unless you guys in the mosh pit and your rock stars, Taylor, Rihanna and Beyonce crack open the wallets to subsidize classical symphonies, this could get ugly. Shostakovitch and Mahler fans think they’re as good or entitled as any of you Swifties, Rihanna Navy or BeyHive fans. If granny starts protesting this inequality, you won’t like it.

Symphonies are the summit of Western Civilization according to their audience, and yet the halls are all dark now. Before the virus lock down classical orchestras were not much better. Some have closed their doors for good, while others struggle to get a full house. Classical music is entertainment for the well to do who enjoy European culture and still it struggles to survive. Decades have passed since Van Cliburn got a ticker tape ride down Broadway followed by a visit to the White House. Now this “serious music” survives on charity or handouts. Of all U.S. concert tickets sold, classical brought in just 3% of the total. Something’s wrong with this picture.

Why can’t we all just get along?

What does this say about the culture or well mannered society? Are we hypocrites? It seems like something is upside-down. Music of Symphony Hall is a revered cultural icon; it should have a seat at the table with reggae, rap, and K-pop. It’s unseemly to see classical scraping for scraps under the table. In our egalitarian society, we should stamp out such equality.

Taylor Swift will not be asking you for a handout during the economic downturn. She made $185 mill last year. That is more than the combined paycheck of the 110 players in most orchestras. You say symphony and Swifties are different? Rihanna, Arianna and Beyonce put on a better show than Yoyo and Itzhak. You may say pop/rock or K-pop speaks to more of our diverse population in a way that Yoyo and Itzhak playing Brahms do not. But the disparity is too great. K-poppers, rockers and mosh pit guys need to come up with a few coins to subsidize the blue hairs and keep the symphony hall lights lit?

If you even whisper that’s too much to ask in order to preserve Western Civilization, then watch out! Granny’s ready to hit you with her oxygen bottle.

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Categories: Humor

1 reply

  1. I get your point. Happily, I live in a university town and we have a very popular symphony hereusing area musicians and students with a young aggressive conductor who play a wide variety of programs including pops and classics. Attendance is very good and many of the seats are sold out on a seasonal basis. It is also a heck of a lot cheaper than Beyonce.

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