“Virtue signaling is a pejorative neologism for the conspicuous and disingenuous expression of moral values with the intent to enhance one’s own image.” Wikipedia

What a wonderful world I live in. It is no longer incumbent upon me to perform good deeds, contribute to worthy causes, or live life according to scripture in order to reap merit points. I merely Google “Trending: Category Greatly Admired” or what’s Trending: “Deplorable.” Then I inform friends, Tweet, or write that I love for the former and hate the latter. That’s all there is to it: I instantly get points and qualify for a virtue trophy. Will all that tweeting/Googling take too much time and literary effort? I can monologue my preference for a few seconds on TikTok. OK, so that won’t make me a saint or even a martyr, but think of the wonders it will do for my image. At a minimum, I will be assured of approval plus hundreds of “likes” on my web site.

Back in the bad old days

In the old days, for a true believer or martyr to go viral, they had to be eaten by lions or something. We’ve come such a long way! Think back to what poor old Job had to go through just to get some attention:

” Job is presented as a good and prosperous family man who is beset by Satan with God’s permission with horrendous disasters that take away all that he holds dear, including his children, his health, and his property.” Wikipedia

Nobody has time for all that! It sounds “Soooo Yesterday”.

Today things go at a higher RPM. Angel wannabes are all competing with Hollywood celebs as well as each other to see who wins the prize. They have to move fast. When they want that virtuous image, they need the persona now!  Someone should set up a way to take the time consuming drudgery out of Virtue Tweeting and TikToking.

Entrepreneurs, there’s a market here

The market is crying out for a system that downloads instant virtue. Why should you do all that trend-Googling, figuring out, and writing what you love and hate? You need a Virtue App where you type in your name, check-off the style of virtue you seek, and how to get the most “Likes” for your dollar. ¬†Enter your credit card, and presto, you’re not only virtuous: You’re famous for being so. For a few more dollars, you might even purchase some “Vitim Signaling.”

 Yes, there’s a modest cost, but what’s that compared to the old days when you martyrs became lunch for some lion.

Categories: Humor

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