Stop pondering trivia: Find profound meaning

Do you experience moments where the world around you seems to stand still leaving a heightened sense of awareness? Such a cosmic connection to with environment is rare but comes with a feeling of deep joy or even fear. We become more animated as we grasp what it means to be fully alive physically and mentally.

You are unaware that there’s a hierarchy of different “More alive feelings” ranging from falling in love to sky diving to doing drugs or experiencing a spiritual revelation like Buddhist Satori. Recently, a new member of the “More Alive Club” has been added: the Washlet toilet.

First, you must emerge from the outhouse era

Laugh if you will, but finally, we have emerged from the outhouse and voila, the toilet revolution has arrived! Modern technology has made possible a truly Zen-like moment during your daily trip to the W.C. Moreover, you can reach this lofty mental state while simultaneously reducing paper usage, noise, and fragrance when flushing. The Washlet offers users an unprecedented level of comfort and convenience, along with the uplifting thrill of being alive. It features automatic seat temperature control, heated water jets for pinpoint personal cleansing, and comes with an air dryer!

All this along with a sophisticated design, and you will experience a near-levitating moment as anyone can encounter! Who wouldn’t want to have agency over such a private moment?

The noble among us have all suffered the classic indignity of an attention-getting loud experience while perched on the throne. Well, fear not my friend, Washlet is the solution. You can now enjoy your Zen meditative aliveness while doing your business. Through the miracle of engineering, you will never need to perform the “courtesy flush” for others because now water sounds, and odor are all mechanically whisked away.  

Finally, you can throw caution to the wind, emerge from the outhouse era and embrace your contemplative moments in silence. Now you will own those bathroom acoustics like a boss. Sit back, and relax. It is time to embrace a sanitary restroom flush hush. While toileting you will feel more alive, at one with the universe, and preserving rolls of paper in the process!

Categories: Humor

2 replies

  1. Hopefully there is a pressure control. I would hate being blasted clear into the next room upon activation.

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